The Mad Crush and The Horse’s Ass

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Chateau Petrogasm, I LOVE you. I want to pop several corks with you, and find myself in a compromising position in the morning. Yes, I’d even do the walk of shame for you, Chateau Petrogasm. My butt is firmly planted on the bandwagon. I’ll be your largest sycophantic follower.

What in the heck is Chateau Petrogasm?

It is a wine review website, of course. What did you think it was?

Why all the gushing?

Because the lovely folk at Chateau Petrogasm have boiled the art of wine reviewing down to it’s purest form. Never before have I seen a more brilliant take on the whole industry. Their style exposes the feeling of the wine, in a way that transcends words, obliterates language barriers and says more than any verbose wine label, sniffy descriptor or hoity-toity tasting note could accomplish.

How do they achieve such a feat?

Simple. They just post one image as the wine review. A photograph. That’s it. No aromatic intangibles. No descriptions of dirt or vines or climate. No lengthy discourses on flavors you’ll never pick up on. One picture.

As a graphic designer and wine lover, I am in awe of the simplicity of their wine reviewing tactics. Jealous as hell I didn’t think of it, but mainly, I want to bear Chateau Petrogasm’s love child. And if I could drink all of those spendy wines in the process, that wouldn’t hurt either.

Well played, Chateau Petrogasm. I humbly genuflect. And I’ll see you at 8.

Treana Red 2004

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Treana Red 2004
$36.99

Wine Label says:
Treana Winery is located in Paso Robles, at the center of California’s Central Coast. Having spent more than two decades developing vineyards in and around Paso Robles, the Treana Red blend reprewsnet grape varieties best suited to the region’s unique calcareous soils and distinctive climate. The Treana vineyards are planted primarily to Cabernet Sauvignon. This proprietary red blend is a complex, elegant wine with up-front, dark fruit characteristics, good tannin structure and a long, silky finish.

Treana wines represents a fresh dimension to our state’s viticultural diversity. SNORE.

Rabbi Tuchman says:
After that lengthy, verbose and somewhat boring label, we decided to make this review concise.

The wine is smooth with a sweet subtle nose. It has hints of coffee and berries. All in all, we really enjoyed this bottle tonight with our chicken dinner salads and will buy another one soon.

Rocket Science 2004

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Rocket Science 2004 Proprietary Red
$45

Wine Label says:
“Son, your 21 years old. It’s time you learned the art of wine tasting.”
“I already know how you taste wine,” replied the sure young man. “This wine has an inky, purple hue with a sensational purity, flavors of a blackberry liqueur with a creme de cassis intensity and finishes outrageously rich.”
“I’m impressed,” said the father.
“Well, it’s not exactly Rocket Science.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, my boy. This is indeed Rocket Science.”

WebWino says:
Let’s face it. This is a wine you buy for the label. Great name, great story… and all in all not a bad wine!

I had the good fortune of sharing this bottle with both Rabbi Tuchman and WineDoc. We all noted the deep purple color of the wine and licorice flavors. Also a very smooth finish. The wine changed a lot as it was exposed to air, and after a while Rabbi Tuchman decided it was not their style. Oh well, more for me!

Rocket Science is 32% Syrah, 32% Cabernet Sauvignon, 30% Merlot, 3% Cabernet Franc and 3% Petit Verdot.

BearBoat 2005 Pinot Noir Sebeka Cabernet Pinotage 2006

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BearBoat 2005 Pinot Noir
Sebeka Cabernet Pinotage 2006
$15.99 – BearBoat Pinot Noir
$6.99 – Sebeka Cabernet Pinotage

WebWino says:
Even though I’ve been slacking off with my Vino Keeno site, I most certainly have not been slacking off in the drinking department. However I haven’t been taking notes, so these two get lumped together because they both deserve mention, even if it’s not a full-bodied review.

As you may know, I’m not the biggest fan of Pinots. I mean, I’ll drink them. As I’m fond of saying about any kind of red wine, “It’s red, it’s wet, and it gets better with every glass.” And usually I lump Pinots in that category. However recently I had two opportunities to taste the BearBoat Pinot Noir, and I really enjoyed it. It could have had to do with the fact that both times I was with dear friends (which always makes wine taste better), but I found myself pleasantly surprised by the wine.

I am also a fan of blends, and Cabernet Pinotage was one I’ve never heard of. Sebeka is a wine from South Africa, that I really enjoyed… well, I should have considering fast delivery canadian pharmacy ourwayit I think I drank the whole bottle by myself. Guess that puts it into the “Red, Wet, Better with every glass” category, but I’m fairly certain I was impressed prior to the buzz kicking in.

For what it’s worth, two decent reviews for you. I promise to have more following the holidays. I have plenty to toast this year and lots of yummy wine to toast with. Stay tuned in 2008! Happy holidays!

Four Vines The Peasant 2005

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Four VinesThe Peasant 2005
$36

Wine Label says:
Temprance, like chastity, is its own punishment.
40% Mourvedre, 32% Syrah, 17% Grenache, 7% Counoise, 4% Tannat

Rabbi Tuchman says:
This Paso Robles wine gets SIX thumbs up from our dinner group. This is not a subtle wine. The descriptors going around the table were “full bodied” and “sharp.” We also smelled a smokey aroma and tasted a hint of coffee flavor. The finish was classic Syrah… peppery.

All in all, we would recommend this wine heartily.

Rutherford Ranch 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon

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Rutherford Ranch 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon
$20-ish

Wine label said:
At Rutherford Ranch we work hard and we work smart to bring you the best values in Napa Valley wine. We strive to create wines with fresh aromas, rich flavors and a smooth balanced finish. Each wine expresses the honest flavor of grapes grown in the Napa Valley.

WebWino & Wine Doc say:
Was this label written by a stodgy corporate America type or what? Works hard and smart? Bring you values? Major Corporate America PR writer flags there.

Regardless, superb wine.

I had the pleasure of sharing this bottle with my trusty fellow wine reviewer, Wine Doc (you know, the one who knows what he’s talking about) and he said this Cab was, “Typical Cabernet, smooth, um… smokey cherry with a long finish. Little cherry, not a real bright cherry. I think it is worth twice the price.”

This is why I love drinking wine with Wine Doc. Because I can’t get past YUMMY. Also Wine Doc threw in this tasty morsel, that this wine was rumored to be from grapes from the Beckstoffer Vineyard, the place that Robert Parker calls “the Tenderloin of Napa Valley.” Cheers to Wine Doc, and Rutherford Ranch!

2006 Muga Roija Blanco

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2006 Muga Roija Blanco
$12.99

Wine label said:
Nothing much… it’s barrel fermented and imported by Jorge Ordonez. Whoopdeedoo.

Vineyard66 says:
As I am still researching Spanish wines, I’ve noticed that my good friend Bill from California has been spouting off about Muga Roija. Of course, he was speaking about the red wines the area is famous for. I thought I’d try to one-up him and I tried this white from the same area. Aaaaand, now I know why it is not famous for the white wine.

Muga Roija is 90% Viura, 10% Malvasia and is a pleasant dry white wine. It has some lemon acidity and is very light but ultimately undistintive. No matter. I still have plenty of time to research more Spanish reds before my trip and spend more quality time with Naia Naiades.

Tait The Ball Buster 2005

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Tait The Ball Buster 2005
$15

Wine Label says:
G’day Mates,
I don’t know what aromas and flavors you’ll find when you try this wine – wine appreciation is so subjective and often too pretentious for my liking. I make my wines the way i like them – big, thick, juicy an deep in color. I wanted to name this wine “Michelle’s Block” – after my wife. But that conjures up visions of a soft and elegant sort of wine – and trust me mates, this little beauty is nothing like that. She’s broad shouldered, built like a stallion and she packs an intensity of flavor – like only the Barossa can deliver. She’s what I call “The Ball Buster” mate…and so is this wine! Enjoy it – Cheers! Bruno Tait – winemaker

Rabbi Tuchman says: This wine was recommended to me by my favorite wino at Binny’s: Julio. I loved the name of the wine and knew it would be good if Julio recommended as he also turned us on to Justin The Orphan.

So I’m in a grumpy mood, the kids are screaming, the dog is driving me nuts and has been relegated to the crate (again) and I was thirsty. Conveniently, it’s a screw top too.

I was in the mood for an “I don’t want to take anymore shit” kind of wine and this fit the bill. Or it is fitting the bill as I’ve only downed the first glass and plan on drinking the better part of the bottle. He wasn’t kidding about the color. Very dark. Shiraz with attitude. I like that. There is also a little Cabernet and Merlot in the blend but it’s mostly Shiraz. I’m not in the mood for a formal review (and Bruno wouldn’t want me to do it anyway) but suffice to say that this tasty bottle will find it’s way onto my wine rack again soon. The price is right and the boldness of flavors totally work… whether you are pissy or not.

2003 Embriux Priorat de Vall Llach

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2003 Embriux Priorat de Vall Llach
$35

Wine label said:
Wrong language! The bottle is no help!

Vineyard66 says:
This another of my series of Spanish wines, as we will be there next year and I’m doing my homework.

The web tells me that Embruix means “betwiching” in Spanish, but also that it is primarily Cabernet and Grenache blend with Carigan, Syrah and Merlot added.

This is really a very good wine from a famous wine area near Barcelona. It was smooth, with cherry and blueberry flavors. We had with beef and it worked well.

Evolution 10th Edition

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Evolution 10th Edition
$14.99

Wine label said:
Intention. The precise amount of 9 varietals produces a lush, of-dry, somewhat tropical wine with a crisp finish.
Happenstance? Coincedence? Chaos? Not a chance. This bottle you hold is a deliberate, pre-meditated attempt to advance the entire wine universe a notch or two. Grandiose? Perhaps, but without Evolution we’d be slime crawling in ooze and that doesn’t sound too appetizing.
Lucky No. 9. As luck would have it, a random number of varietals took a liking to each other and decided to become a lush, off-dry, somewhat tropical wine with a crisp finish. Go figure.

WebWino says:
This wine is labeled as a 10th edition, so it sits in the number 10 spot. However it brags on its nine varietals in the mix, so I guess it straddles 9 and 10. There isn’t a big number in the name, which violates the WebWino Reviews by the Numbers theme… but at this point, who cares? I think the little tab on top of the cork sums it up best:

Chill. Pour. Sip. Chill.

I had the pleasure of sharing this wine with my good friend Grape Lady. If you are a follower of the reviews on this site, you know that the Grape Lady’s reviews are almost exclusively whites. So she knows her stuff when it comes to white wines which is a nice compliment to me knowing next to nothing.

As for Evolution, it was somewhat dry with hints of sweetness, but not at all oaky. It was a food-friendly wine that would make a great summer/patio wine. This wine got the Grape Lady’s stamp of approval. And although it was not my favorite flavor, I could tell that it was a good white wine. (That may be proof that the first white I tasted was not that good after all.)

Wanna know what the nine varietals are? Chardonnay, White Riesling, Pinot Gris, Muller-Thurgau, Semillon, Gewurztraminer, Muscat, Pinot Blanc, and Sylvaner. Wow, all those funky white grapes and I didn’t dump out the bottle? Evolution, indeed.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.